Essay

Confession 

During my vacation I was supposed to write an essay on my personal fails, and why did they occur, there it goes: 

‘My personal fails in CAS’

This year was for many reasons different from my previous ones. I have experienced some personal difficulties, and I have realized that sometimes one has to take care of more people than just himself. In fact, I am a selfish person and sometimes I think that the world is spinning around myself. Some of my service activities taught me that this is not entirely true and that one is obliged to think about the other people surrounding him... 

Sometimes I find it difficult to admit that I have failed, I try to avoid thinking of being unsuccessful. In some cases this is a good method, because you would not feel depressed, sad, or whatsoever. However, there comes the time when it is absolutely necessary to admit when you lose, and besides my successes I have also noted down some difficulties, leading to collapses and fails. 

I have always had problems with being systematic, I have taken up many activities and ended up with doing none of them. The problem appears to be still valid, and even though I have improved to some extent I am still not able to overcome this problem totally. This seems to be very common for young people but it is immensely annoying for me. Due to this it was very uneasy for me to keep up with all of activities scheduled because I was always able to find excuses - homework, head ache, other activities, etc. As a matter of fact this irregularity was, and is one of my biggest fails. Not only it does not allow me to achieve full success but also often leaves me with 10 started and unfinished projects, which is the worst because one cannot focus on 10 things at a time and accomplish them 100% correctly. 

Another problem that I have to struggle with and which generally leads to fail is pretending that I have everything under control. I try to be self sufficient but sometimes I am aware of the fact that I am not experienced enough to do something on my own, and I still do it. This leads not only to many problems but much more. It is understandable that a person of my age is less experienced and generally less capable of accomplishing certain goals than an adult. However, I never admit it and I always try to prove that I am the best in most of the fields. 

Due to this attitude the photo exhibition was a total mistake and as a matter of fact it was prepared in approximately 10 minutes, while we had over a month for it. I decided to be the ‘commander’ and as it turned out I was not capable of forcing my friends to fully commit to it. Also because I had an ‘it is a piece of cake attitude’ I gave up the real preparation for the exhibition and printed out some pictures downloaded from Facebook in the very day. I think that the lack of planning, preparing, and meticulously organizing every single event leads to a collapse, and this is what I have to improve, otherwise I will never be able to achieve a full success. 

Even though my CAS booklet presents only the positive and successful aspects of my year, along with successes there are also fails and the most difficult part is to fully admit and accept your problems, in order to improve. Improvement is possible only when one tries to deal with one’s problems and this is what I am trying to do, hoping that my CAS attitude and activities will contribute to it.